Letter to Mr Grief.

23 December 2021

Dear Mr Grief

I hope this letter finds you well. Being the first Christmas without Matt, I felt it necessary to write to you and address a matter that has been causing me some distress. While I understand that you have become an unavoidable part of my life, I would appreciate it if we could find a more respectful and considerate way to interact.

I understand that you have your duties and responsibilities, but your constant unannounced appearances have been quite unsettling. I would like to request that we schedule a meeting next Thursday between 3 pm and 4 pm, where we can sit down over a cup of tea. This way, we can discuss matters and share our time together in a more controlled and comfortable environment. It will not only make my life easier but will also provide some peace of mind to those around me.

I must admit, I find it difficult when you intrude upon my private family moments, be it during our walks with the dogs, having dinner, and even when I am alone simply trying to read a book. And I must say, it is quite distressing when you show up uninvited to special functions where I am supposed to celebrate with my loved ones. If I had known about your arrival, I would’ve been better prepared with waterproof mascara and tissues in hand. With our first Christmas approaching without our darling boy, I acknowledge that you might expect an invitation. I am willing to extend that invitation to you, but I kindly ask that you respect the time we have together. Join us briefly to show your respects, but then allow me to enjoy the company of my special family and friends without being overshadowed by you. It is not that you are not important but I believe we can strike a balance where we can co-exist harmoniously.

You have become part of my family, and though it wasn’t a choice I made, I understand that life brings us all sorts of experiences. Let’s try to respect each other’s space and boundaries. I promise to acknowledge your presence and listen to the lessons you bring. Your role in helping us to understand this journey is powerful, and I want to appreciate and learn from you, but without feeling overwhelmed if that is possible.

On Christmas Day, a day I am dreading, please remember that it is a time for joy and togetherness. Your presence should be respected, loved and acknowledged, but please refrain from dominating the celebrations. Let us find the balance that allows us to learn and grow from your lessons without taking away the festive spirit.

I welcome you to the family, Mr Grief, but I kindly ask you to be gentle and kind to me and all my family and friends, both near and far. Let us cherish the time we all had with Matt, learn from the good times, find meaning in his precious life and celebrate the fact that he chose David and I to be his parents.

Wishing you and your family friends a blessed Christmas!

Love Sarah